Alone
by trinchardin
Summary: more on my new character...this time, from her pov...


Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix concept or anyone - yes, even the Agents - in it. No, I'm not earning any money from this. I write for the pure enjoyment of it. ...oh and Nemesis IS mine.  
  
Alone  
  
I know what they think of me.  
  
How can I not. I am their keeper, aren't I?   
  
Their fear of me is only equaled by their hate and contempt for me. Fear, I can understand. An old fear of failure turned to a new fear of termination. And hate, I can understand, too. For hate is born of fear. One hates what one fears, whether one is a human or an AI with stimulated emotions.  
  
But, contempt...that is another matter entirely. I suppose that I can reason it out as a result of their hate. Yet I am no fool. I know that their contempt is simply because in their 'eyes' I am..."only human".  
  
Inspite of my disposed human body and modified programming, that is what I will always be to them. A human. Someone to be despised and degraded. And can I really blame them? For as long as I've existed, humans have been enslaved by machines for use as an energy source. And frankly, I have no sympathy for my brethren. They were fools to have let their own genius overcome them.  
  
And I think that it is better this way. Yes, they've been enslaved. Yes, they've no freedom. But, what is freedom really but a state of mind. And are they not free in their minds?  
  
Those rebel humans fight for freedom. They want the right to control their lives. But, it is a right they gave up long ago when they created the AI. For what purpose? To make life easier for them, of course. In the end, all that was left for humans to do was to give the orders while the AI did all the work - practically lived their lives for them. And isn't that how things are now? They 'order', the AI 'live'.  
  
Besides, when those rebels decided to fight did they think of what the rest of humanity might want? Did they think that perhaps the majority is satisfied 'living' as they do now? The rebels themselves admit that the majority isn't ready to be unplugged. Do they really think that humanity will ever be ready to face reality and the ugly truth?  
  
I think not. But, those rebels don't think. Not rationally, at least. And that's what's so dangerous about them. There is a name for their kind. Not rebels, but fanatics. And like Oscar Wilde once said, "The worst vice of the fanatic is his sincerity." They actually believe that they're right, that they fight for a noble cause and as a result are all too willing to die 'gloriously' for it.  
  
The purpose of my existence is to prove them wrong. And I will fight them any way I can for as long as it takes. But, alas for them, whereas I have forever they have human life spans, which are all too often cut short sooner than intended. The pitiful fools...  
  
My purpose is what makes me what I am. My role as the Agent's keeper cannot compete with it. For me, Agents are merely a means to an end. A means to draw this foolish conflict to a swift conclusion. And once my purpose is completed, my inevitable termination will come. But first, I work for that conclusion with the knowledge that I am hated by both enemy and ally.   
  
Do not think that I want it this way. I'd rather have respect than enmity, seeing as I can never have a 'friend' in any sense of the human term. A few of my enemies can be considered worthy adversaries, but never friends. And amongst my allies where such a thing would ordinarily be possible, it is unlikely if not impossible. With allies like mine, who needs enemies?  
  
I would appreciate a partner if I cannot have a friend. I do not find this so strange, seeing as it is only natural for a sentient being to seek the companionship of others. Obviously, I am such a being. And why even Agents come in small groups. Yet, despite my being part of such a group, I still cannot find what I want. It is not that I consider my colleagues unworthy. As a matter of fact, considering their completely AI construction, they are superior to me. Yet, they lack an intangible and undescribable trait, which I believe only humans can possess. Ah, the shortcomings of a half-breed...  
  
However, I do not regret the choice I made to be this way. I just never thought I would feel so alone.  
  
*****  
  
What do you people think? Please tell me. Suggestions would be nice. If you like her, I will continue to write a series involving her, Jones, Gray, and maybe even Smith... And in case you forgot this is a fanfic with an entirely fictional character. Do not assume that I am personified in this character...believe me, we have entirely different views regarding certain topics. 


End file.
